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I will be 40yrs old in February and I have been single for 16yrs. I am a single mother of a teen. The first one was a double date with a friend and her boyfriend when I was still in my 20s. Long story short, I was not the friend he expected her to set him up with i. The second one was a total mismatch in terms of age and goals I was 25 and he was 45 and was looking for a housewife where I was focused on my child and career. Since that time, I have chosen to concentrate on being a mom, developing and growing my relationship with God, healing from a past relationship, purchasing my home and pursuing things that I like to do basically, working on me so that I can be ready for a healthy and committed relationship.
In high school, although I never dated or had a boyfriend, I was very much open to exploring my options. Finding your website came at the right time as I have questions regarding dating outside my race. First, how do I for a lack of a better word position myself so that I am meeting men who date black women?
So it has me wondering if non-black men my age are also exploring their dating options. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. Make this your full time job because you and I know we gave to our family fully so our dating life should be a priority. It was the best thing we could have done for each other. I am the first woman of color he has ever dated. Your age is just a number, it all depends on how you appeal to the guys who are looking online: Do you have hobbies?
Brush up on vetting, as you have to be careful who you let into your life, and your small family-unit. I am a 56 year old white male, married to a black female for thirty years. I first dated a black female in the mid-seventies in North Carolina Klan was still present.
She could not take the public pressure which came with our relationship. Of course our relationship ended. People learn to accept people in their public life, not necessarily in their private life. You sound as if you are a great mother, a successful female, and a God fearing female.
I thought they were only interested in women 25 to What website did you join? I am curious, if you recall, how did you get into swirling, did you have any concerns back then, and how did you get over them? I was looking t news this morning, and came across a news article http: It is proof this blog is very valuable.
I suggest she join a variety of online dating sites and not just those targeted towards interracial dating.
She will be pleasantly surprised at the interest of non-black men. Best wishes to her. Hi Christelyn and BBW ladies; I totally agree with Chris. There is no way this lady is going to be able to successfully date and create options for herself; if she is not open to online dating. There is some great advice here.
I am recently divorced. After a 17 year marriage, I figured out that the way we meet people these days are on the online dating sites. I am not a huge fan of them, but you become an expert very quickly. When I felt like it was time to start dating, eventually, I found a great guy online.. I felt like I knew so much about him it was comfortable. I had dated interracially once when I was very young. So I was hesitant to get involved again.
Im so glad I did. As im older now, I dont care what people think. I think its becoming more common these days. I hope someday it wont be looked down on anywhere.
But my advice…sign up for a couple dating sites, you can sort thru everyone, get to know them and see where it goes. You can always delete you account. I would definitely encourage the writer of the letter…Take that chance!
Open yourself up to new experiences in dating. Great advice from Chris. I think that women get so caught up in dating and finding someone to marry, they overlook the possibility for a great friendship that may lead to something. My husband and I were friends first. In fact, I have a nice-sized boy posse. Age does not matter. I lost my most excellent father 10 years ago.
My mother was settling into her widowhood when she met a very well educated, very handsome and very nice WM while doing her fitness walking. They became friends, worked out together, talked a lot, boosted each other up… in other words, they do what friends do. She has said she never would have expected to spend this part of her life with a WM but accepts it and is having fun.
My mom will be 78 this year! You have one tremendous advantage in the dating market, and that is that 40 looks much better on a black woman that it does on a white woman.
The other thing about interracial relationships is that although there are definitely guys who will never date outside their ethnicity, the guys who are willing to date interracially are in for a penny, in for a pound types, and a significant portion of those guys are going to prefer Black women over white. Chris, as usual, gave a lot of good advice. I envy your position, at only 40 years of age, to be able to enter this wonderful new world. Many women think that men are only looking for young women.
Well, maybe some of them are, but the guys who want a serious connection are looking for someone closer to their own age. For instance, I like classical music and opera, great films of the past and present, and dinner parities where I do the cooking and entertaining, and then we all make the rounds to each others house for dinner.
For me, life is about socializing. Many times I think what might have been if this new IR era had been in effect when I was in my twenties. I met my husband online in February We were married in September I had a lot of choices where I was looking eHarmony.
I would say to try online dating as well as special interest groups. Heck there is Christianmingle as well if she specifically wants a man of her faith to pray with and grow together as a couple in their faith. I wish the writer all the best in meeting a good mate for herself. However, as a 42 year old woman, I rarely get approached by men my own age.
They are doing exactly what you said, reaching out to younger women. I am largely approached by men over I am a plus size woman size 18 and I wanted to meet a man who could appreciate my curves as I did. I made the first move only because I thought he was nervous.
He responded right away and admitted that he was nervous but glad that I made the first move. The website was Big Beautiful People. Even if you do not immediately find that perfect someone, just getting to meet others and making some casual friendships is a great way to increase your confidence and your comfort level.
Since I agree with the comments that a 40 year old bw will typically look many years younger than her actual age, you can get good attention from men of other races if you participate in a group which indicates you are willing to date outside your race.
I have always dated off and on interracially since I was 16 years old. I never felt loved when I was in relationships with BM. When I started dating outside my race again it just felt right to me. Loving him feels like home to me. I may check it out since it is one that I have not been on and I am a plus-sized woman also size 18 and although I am actively trying to lose weight, I want someone to appreciate who I am right now.
MsZoeniaosheila70 I may or may not lose weight but I wanted a man who would accept me for who I am. Does 50 pass some threshold? For me, at 39, I have more in common with someone who is 31 as oppose to someone who is The last thing I need is stagnant. I once told her she was gushing like a schoolgirl. A woman in her 20s? I would only be able to kiss her on the top of her head…. Christelyn is right on target… Please do not be afraid of trying online dating.
Yes, you may indeed have to wade through many to find one connection that works, but it DOES happen. As Chris said, people are prequalified that they are indeed interested in an IRR otherwise they wouldnt be on there. There are lots of WM that had been interested in dating interracially and only now as times are changing finally are pursuing these interests.
Is your profile withering away online? Is it attracting the interest of couch potatoes, the chronically ill or the guys just looking for a little action?
If so, you are likely making at least one of the mistakes commonly made by women over 40 who are using online dating as their new discos.
Really…where do you meet men these days? Unfortunately, all it takes is one major profile mistake to potentially sabotage any chance of finding love — or even a few good dates.
As we get older the man-to-woman ratio moves more and more lopsided. Some statistics show that for every man over 50, there are up to 5 women; over 60, ten women, and so on. The days of sitting back and waiting for anything incoming are over.
If you want to be noticed and rise to the top, it pays to create the best possible profile and keep it polished and shiny. The good news is that unlike a lot of things in life, your profile is easy to change and update.
Your profile is your calling card, not a wish list. Many women use their profile as a list of their likes and dislikes. That can be a turn-off. The purpose of your profile is to market you. If you do a good job describing yourself and painting a picture of what it feels like to be in a relationship with you, it will attract the right men and repel the wrong ones. So focus more on what you have to offer, and less on what they can do for you.
The man reads this as you having incredibly high expectations and reliance on your relationship for your happiness. Women in their 40s, 50s and beyond are particularly guilty of this. Be careful not to sound like there is no room in your life for a relationship. It often goes something like this: Many weekends are spent training for my next marathon and singing in my church choir.
You can go on to say that you look forward to a relationship, but really…where can a man possibly see time for himself in that picture?
Also, avoid these statements: They especially need to feel needed and like an important contributor to your life. If you make it sound like you can take it or leave it, they are likely to help you leave it. Instead, be more specific and paint a picture for him. I like mine extra spicy. Does your profile sound like someone who likes to have a good time? Let me know how it goes for you! You can register here for free.
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